Day 41: Thursday, 6/30

Thursday was a good day. Thought I'd start out with that lest you think my homesickness and irritation with the U.S. Embassies has gotten the best of me. While still afflicted with both, I want to highlight some of the great things we're experiencing here in the Marshalls.

Of course, the day doesn't start without breakfast! In honor of Stacy I ordered banana pancakes with a side of bacon. It makes my day when I ask and they confirm that they do, in fact, have bacon :) Combine that with coffee and I'm off to a good start. All the Simmons are home now. I received an email from Stacy who, as crazy as this sounds, was on her way out the door to attend her oldest daughter' game. It sounds like the trip with Oliver was pretty harsh but with some understanding from other passengers and a couple very helpful flight attendants, they made it to Boston where she met up with the rest of her family and a night of rest before heading back to Maine. I really miss them and get just a little sad each time I pass room 237. The other day they were converting the “living room” room back to a regular hotel room with a bed. But, I'm really glad they're home and honestly believe if it had to only be one of us, it should have been them to return home first.

We planned an 11:00 am visit with Emi and Maddy. I thought Maddy was joking when she'd said the other day that she really wanted to learn how to make some of the handicrafts but when she showed up, we dug in. Emi had brought her big plastic bag of supplies – coconut fronds (natural and dyed), multiple shells, needles, earring hooks, and tools – and we plopped down on the floor ready to work.

I found it kind of funny that I was approaching this as my day's work and I should get to it instead of another learning opportunity. Emi showed Maddy how to wrap the outer circles that make up the round-shaped earrings and teased her that I was faster than she was. I'm doing pretty good on my technique and at times, even helped Maddy fix a broken frond or a missed step... and the student becomes the teacher :) Okay, not really, but I am getting better.

While we made jewelry, Maddy and I discussed her work with the birth moms. She said they mostly don't know each other when they enter the program but through get togethers and workshops begin to form friendships. We talked about how great it would be to have women with certain skills, like making jewelry, teach the other women in the program. Many of them have something they could share with the rest and it would really benefit all of them. Maddy thought it was a great idea so I hope she puts something in place.

Around 12:45 Maddy left because she had to go work with another birth mom. I'll insert here for those waiting for referrals that I've been trying to gather information that would give you some idea of a timeline but it's very difficult to do while respecting their privacy. A couple things I've been told but can't confirm first hand: there should be 2-3 families traveling in July and another 1 in August, we think there are 2 more JOH families with dossiers in country (I think they are both matched but am not sure), there have been 2 babies born while we've been here that I know of (we think one was already matched, the second one maybe not???). I share this information not to make you crazy thinking through all the different scenarios but if you're like me, you want information even if it's somewhat unreliable. I've also been reading the RMI-Kids list and see a lot of new families who are waiting for referrals. Maybe I'll finally post for the first time :)

At one point of the afternoon Emi indicated she was out of earring hooks and asked if we could run get some. Emi, Grace and I took off in the car and through lots of gestures and broken English and Marshallese, we reached the store where Emi buys hers. A little shop on the “back road” behind the Payless. Yes, there's a back road. For everyone who thinks there's only one road in Majuro – surprise! The back road is interesting and I recommend you take a trip down it. We wouldn't have if the community center gym's roof hadn't collapse and the main road been blocked. Think of driving down a regular residential block in the US but instead of wood houses with green yards and siding you have cinder block structures with corrugated tin roofing... it's very similar to home yet very different. Not at all like what you see driving along the main road.

So the earring hooks were $3 for a bag of 25 pair... better than I'd expected considering what Emi had communicated earlier in our stay. They also had some small rings also used in making jewelry and we bought those too. Then, instead of back to the MIR, we headed to another store to get more coconut fronds - $6.95 for a bunch. This is the same place Stacy and I bought ours but Emi was much more particular about while bundle she wanted looking through 8-10 before selecting the best one. I'm still not sure what made it best. She showed the eventual winner to me as if to say, “See how this one is best?” I couldn't appreciate any differences but off we went... to the One Dollar Store for a new pair of scissors.

But, still not back to the MIR yet... on the way she told me to pull into the Do It Best hardware store where she asked to borrow the cell phone. I gathered that she was calling the house (behind the hardware store) to have someone bring her something. In a little bit Beto and Charles showed up with Emi's big corral rock she uses to pierce holes in the shells. She'd forgotten to bring it. The boys jumped in and then we were off to the MIR.

I learned that Emi collects many of her own shells instead of buying them. I think I wrote before that they scoop them out of the water (ocean side, apparently) and then through various ways, kill the slug inside. Emi buries hers in sand and then cleans them out when the slugs die. This way, they get the nice shiny surfaces instead of the duller and sometimes pitted version you and I would pick up on the beach.

We hung out in the room and the boys decided to make a run for pizza. The Enra was all out for a while and they were told to return in a couple hours (not sure why only a while or what they'd have in a couple hours) but instead, they decided to go get some Bar-B-Que. When they got there the guy was just loading up the grill with more meat and it was going to be a long while before it was ready. So, then went to the Tide Table instead and brought back some Hawaiian pizza and sodas. I have to confess, I think the Tide Table's pizza better – they have a thinner crust and better ham.

While the guys were gone, Dexter Jr. showed up. He came in and was going to wait until Emi sent him on an errand – she needed something else from the house for our jewelry making. If you see jewelry that's made with a shiny black material – bracelets mostly but also some earrings – it's probably made from the recording tape from inside a VHS cassette! I also found out that the form onto which they weave the bracelets is usually the ring around the top of a screw top jar... you know, the part that's connected to the cap and snaps free when you first open it? It's true.

Meanwhile, Jeff and the two boys came back with a pizza and we all had a piece. They saved one for Dexter who was very grateful when he returned with the VHS tape. Another funny thing... teen-age boys here do NOT eat anything close to what they eat at home. The one large pizza with 8 pieces fed 6 of us...

Dexter had to leave so the rest of us watched Tangled again and Emi and I made jewelry. I think we had 14 pair of earrings in all and, at the end of the day, I found out that we'd been making them all for me! Here I thought we were making them so Emi could add them to her supply to sell! Maybe mine aren't as sellable as Emi's but they're passable. I tried to tell Emi she shouldn't give them all to me and that she should sell them and make some money but she kept saying through Beto, “you are first” and would not take them back. I thanked her profusely and accepted my gifts with hugs and giggles.

We all went down to dinner after the earrings were finished and, after 40 days being on island, are finally learning some tricks... like, if you're ordering a to-go in addition to your meal (as we often do for Destiny and Bertha), order it all at the same time. There is no concern among the Marshallese of food getting cold while we eat our main meal so it's a big time-saver. Also, asked what deserts are available early so when you're ready to order, you don't wait another 15 minutes.

We saw bubu at the restaurant and were her how many we made. Emi said she gave them all to me and bubu echoed the sentiment that I should get them because we're helping them so much and they cannot pay us. I was just floored at that comment... we're helping them? And what or why should they pay us anything?!? Our birth family is amazing and through actions and comments like this we really have come to understand that they simply want the best for Grace and agreeing to adopt her is lessening their difficult situation. It's the heartbreaking reality of it all.

While in the restaurant I finally met Bill, the General Manager of the MIR. A very nice man. I've seen him around and he's been pointed out but we've not had the opportunity to meet before. I was up walking Grace around the restaurant and struck up a conversation with bubu at the front desk. She'd had some words with Beto earlier that sounded not so happy so I wanted to make sure we hadn't gotten the boys in trouble. She told me that she'd asked him who said he could come eat with us. She wanted to make sure they weren't tagging along uninvited. While not exactly untrue – we didn't invite them to come over – it's isn't a problem as we enjoy having them around and feeding them is such a small thing. We did actually invite them to dinner so all is good.

Back to Bill... he started asking me some questions and then invited me to sit with him and his wife. We talked for a long time about many things. I wanted him to know that we've enjoyed our stay at the MIR. I think a lot of people have an impression of this place as run down and full of bugs and poor service... maybe when it was The Outrigger, that was more true. That's not to say it's all new, bug-free, and the staff jumps to meet every need... but it's pretty okay. Everyplace in the tropics will have bugs somewhere. Some places will do a better job at hiding them but, trust me, they're there. He said they spend $1200 a month spraying for bugs and they just can't get them all. I suggested that people who stay here who freak out about a few cockroaches just don't have the right expectations. You all probably read my account of the Wilson's battle with bugs at both the MIR and the RRE.

I also found out that he's on the board of directors for the Co-op school. It's one of a couple of private schools on the island. Tuition is around $2,500 per year per kid but they have a really great program. How I would love for Destiny and Bertha to be able to attend this school! Destiny is ready to enter kindergarden this fall and it would be prime time to get her into the best school setting. Many kids go in not speaking a word of English and become fluent in just a few short years. Beyond that, their standardized test scores are comparable to schools in the US and higher than many. Bertha, only 2 ½, won't be going for a while but she would certainly benefit at well. We've heard about their great PTA group where all parents are required to attend the meetings. They really hold the parents accountable for getting the kids to and from school and staying involved themselves. Jeff and I plan to make inquiries about sponsoring the girls – it could be possible for us once we get our cash flow back on track – but we aren't sure that Emi and the girls will be staying in Majuro.

Everything today was really good but I was getting tired fast... I must have looked it because bubu came over and told us to go upstairs and rest because I looked tired. Uh, thanks? Yeah, thanks... it's sometimes hard to put an end to an evening when most of the participants aren't used to doing anything on a schedule. The table broke up and on the way out I found out that our next visit has already been planned for Monday at 11:00. I'll have to notify Maddy and hope she'll be free. Emi is going to visit family on another island over the weekend so I don't think she'll be around at all until then. We'll have to find some things to keep us busy.

Visa update: just a last note as I'm sure you're wondering. No information on the visa but we have reached out to any political contacts we have. First, Senator Amy Klobuchar from the great state of Minnesota is known for her advocacy of adoption and adoption process reform. She states on her website that her office will try to help anyone facing difficulty starting, advancing or completing their adoptions. So, we emailed her office as suggested. We also received an email from Jeff's uncle Russ... he and his wife have been involved in MN politics for a long time and have rubbed elbows with some of the biggies. He is going to make some calls on our behalf to see what he can find out. Just to be clear (again, sorry), the Marshallese are not the bottleneck in this process. It's all the good U.S. of A. who are mucking up our timeline. We're simply asking for 1) information – a status update on where our information is and when is it coming, and 2) why was it not sent out on 6/22 when it was approved like the Simmons' paperwork was? We aren't asking for any special treatment but we do feel like we need some explanation of why ours has been delayed. We don't expect to hear anything until Tuesday... 4-day holiday weekend for the U.S. Embassy in the RMI. Maybe they'll go kayaking...